SEC Power Poll: Bama Week

1. Alabama. Balanced. NFL defense. Better than LSU.   Mercurial coach with awesome hair.  I may be the only Vol that believes that Nick Saban has the best hair in SEC.  His feathered angel wing bangs are a stunning tribute pin-up model Farrah Fawcett.  Bama is one piece of the Mike Slive’s tv ratings extravaganza.  Bama wins in a close fight this Saturday with my Vols.  Mike Slive wins the Horse Trailer Player of the Game.

2.  LSU.  A good team, just not as good as Alabama.  Tennessee found some huge chinks in their armor that all of us know that both Auburn and Alabama will fully exploit.   Tennessee ran at will on LSU, losing only because Simms could not protect the ball.   LSU will be Auburn thanks to Mike Slive’s “shepherds”.  Book it that both Bama and LSU will be undefeated when they meet on Nov 5th.

3.  Arkansas.  Man oh man is the SEC really down this year when the Hogs are the 3rd best team in the Conference.  These guys have been flying under the radar all season.  They finished up with games against Auburn, A&M and Bama.  Playing well in all of these games. Name one player on the Arkansas team, I dare you.

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4.  Auburn. I know that Gus Malzahn has studied the Tennessee-Lsu film. He will use the bulldozing success of the Tennessee running  with abandon on the vaunted LSU Defense. Mike Slive will make sure that Auburn stays in the game but LSU will eventually pull away in the second half. Look for either noted SEC referees Al Ford or Penn Wagers to execute Slive’s end game of an undefeated LSU vs Bama matchup in November. In other words, Tennessee and Auburn don’t stand a punchers chance of winning this weekend.

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6.  Florida. Muschamp is pure unadulterated  entertainment. If he doesn’t calm the fuck down, he is going to die from whatever almost killed Herban Meyer.  Florida fans are getting impatient for some wins.   It is said that one must hit rock bottom before you can climb back up.
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7.  Tennessee. After dominating #1 LSU for 3 quarters, the Tigers maturity and depth finally took control of the game. Look for the Vols to rebound against a strong Bama squad. This evenly matched game will be decided by an X factor……the officials. The SEC Commissioner must have an undefeated Bama-LSU matchup. I suspect that Penn Wagers or Al Ford’s officiating crews will be tapped to make things “happen” in a Bama-like way.
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8.  UGA. Why are they ranked? They avoided a meltdown loss to hapless Vandy. I’d say it’s the SEC quota to have half the conference ranked in the top 25.  I love the contrast in DC Todd Grantham’s bold redneck style and Richt’s pastoral approach.  I for one believe that Grantham could have whipped Franklin’s ass. Franklin is the Vandy head coach, how tough can he be?

9.  South Carolina. 35% of the Cocks offense tore up his knee on Saturday. 6-1 to 7-5. Only winnable game on the schedule is the Citadel. Losses to Tenn, Ark, Fla, and the final beatdown from Tajh Boyd and Clemson. The Music City Bowl will come calling….enjoy.

10.  Vandy. Takes on the Cadets from Army.  I wonder if Coach Franklin will try some of his thug shit on the West Pointers?  These Army kids are not a bunch of pussies like UGA.
11. Ole Miss. This hapless squad is elated not to be playing Jacksonville State this week.  Oops, they got Arkansas.  It would have been a loss either way.
12. Kentucky.  Kentucky takes on Jacksonville State.  Jax State will be the nail in Joker Phillips coffin.

About Capers Bar

I am retired Army officer. I used to fly helicopters and airplanes while I was in the Army. Nowadays, I do other things that are not so cool and sexy. I decided to write about my journey or whatever you want to call it towards running a half-marathon this fall. I have been running since 1983, I have run the Duke City full and half marathons. I don't run that fast anymore, I did win a 10K when I was 21, those days are mercifully past me. The fastest mile I have turned is a 5:05 during one of those Army physical fitness test 2 mile runs. The point I am making is that I am old, slow, and experienced runner. I named the blog after my running buddy, Bandit, an Australian Blue Heeler. He is my 3rd K-9 running buddy, the previous two dogs were black labs. I hope to write about some of my discussions that I have with Bandit in the future. I once owned, but since sold and a satirical and irreverent sports blog that was moderately successful. I was published in the left-wing national sports media by Sports Illustrated and ESPN. I am "stuck" in Alabama working for a military contractor. I am working so fricking hard to get back to Southeast New Mexico or West Texas. Fingers and toes crossed.

4 comments on “SEC Power Poll: Bama Week

  1. Bama;s d is awesome for sure. but they were pretty awesome last year too. lets just wait and see who is better than whom on 11/5. as for UT-Knoxville “dominating” for 3 quarters, well, whatever helps you sleep at night, son. y’all were game for a quarter/quater and a half. hats off to you. good luck in the….well y’all may not be going to a bowl, but good luck all the same.

  2. oh yeah–love the pick from the lesbian wedding. did not know that Al’bama allowed same-sex marriages…who’duh thunk it! Al’bama’s the dadgum Jew Hampshire of the South!!

  3. No, they’re from Zion Chapel, near Jack Al

  4. wow, i didn’t realize how bad overall the SEC is this year until those rankings. I’m surprised that either LSU or Bama sit at the top of the BCS with the strength of schedule asswipe that is the rest of the conference.

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