SEC Power Rankings: Opening Week

1. LSU – Big win over a good Oregon team.  I really thought that LSU looked a lot better than any other SEC team.  Lee is an upgrade at QB over Jefferson.  Jefferson reminds me a lot of the Shockley era at UGA.

2. Alabama – I ranked them second because I think Saban was holding back cause the Roids got Penn State next week.   Richardson really didn’t seem like he was all that enthused to be on the field.  I believe the Roids hand 40 plus on another slow ass Big 10 team.

3. Miss State- Looked really  solid.  The QB, Relf, looked OK.  I hate to admit that Mullen is a good coach.  But he really seems like he knows what he is doing.  They will give the Bammeroids all they want then some.

4.  Arkansas – You guys haven’t won shit in a long time, and until you do, know your role and STFU.

5. Florida – The forgotten gatorz. I ranked them at 5 cause they are Florida.  That means that Ididn’t watch or read anything about Florida cause I don’t give 2 shits about the Gates.  I still Brantley is a mental meltdown away from ruining their season My Vols will run a train on Brantley.  The Stare

6. South Carolina – The arrogance of Alabama but a really empty trophy case, sorta of like Vandy. In typical USCe fashion they will self implode at some point during the season.  The “sober Garcia”  showed up to play.   The “drunk Garcia” will reappear somewhere along the way and ruin the season. This is the most cogent part of my rant:  Spurrier’s whole coaching well-being is tied to Garcia.

7.  Tennessee – No plausible running game which was supposed to be kind of a strength this season…an ass load of turnovers too.  I do miss the Tyler Bray throat slashes after TD passes.  WRs Rogers and Hunter are the best tandem since Joey Kent and Marcus Nash; are going to be fucking awesome.

8. Auburn – A really bizarre game against a “Vandy” like team in Utah State.  I was terrified that Auburn was going to dick this game.  Yes I pulled for the Barn.  The enemy of my enemy is my friend. WDE.

9. Georgia – SOFT, again. They really looked terrible. I was so disappointed that Aaron Murray didnt cry.  The defense looked like they were going to have heart attacks on the field due to a soft conditioning program ( I heard they were using Indian Clubs). NIKE COMBAT NIKE COMBAT. They have to beat The University of Southern Carolina next week. They just gotta

10. Vandy – Elon was a really shitty team.  Vandy has finally figured out how to build a football schedule: play teams that suck worse than them.  The problem is that Vandy is at the bottom of the shit pile.   I can’t wait for Head Coach James Franklin to shine the Vandy football turd into gold on sports talk radio. Intellectual fucks.

11. Kentucky – They did not “rise up”.  Poor Tee Martin and Randy Sanders.  Not an infusion of Tennessee football know-how can fix this methane cloud.  Western Kentucky actually played the wildcats tough, which really doesn’t mean anything at all.  Either way Kentucky looked better than UGA.

12. Ole Miss – This team is really fucking bad to be ranked below Vandy and Kentucky.  Just fucking awful. Houston Dale Nutt ain’t going to survive this season.  All those BYU white boys ran circles around the Rebel Black Bears.  How does Nutt fuck up SEC speed and clock management?

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About Capers Bar

I am retired Army officer. I used to fly helicopters and airplanes while I was in the Army. Nowadays, I do other things that are not so cool and sexy. I decided to write about my journey or whatever you want to call it towards running a half-marathon this fall. I have been running since 1983, I have run the Duke City full and half marathons. I don't run that fast anymore, I did win a 10K when I was 21, those days are mercifully past me. The fastest mile I have turned is a 5:05 during one of those Army physical fitness test 2 mile runs. The point I am making is that I am old, slow, and experienced runner. I named the blog after my running buddy, Bandit, an Australian Blue Heeler. He is my 3rd K-9 running buddy, the previous two dogs were black labs. I hope to write about some of my discussions that I have with Bandit in the future. I once owned, but since sold and a satirical and irreverent sports blog that was moderately successful. I was published in the left-wing national sports media by Sports Illustrated and ESPN. I am "stuck" in Alabama working for a military contractor. I am working so fricking hard to get back to Southeast New Mexico or West Texas. Fingers and toes crossed.

2 comments on “SEC Power Rankings: Opening Week

  1. The Vols did not have any turnovers. Yeah, they bobled the ball, but recovered all of them. Good Oskie.

  2. bray needs to be hit so hard his head falls off. whatadick.

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