8 Comments

A Florida Gator Wedding


[Pics courtesy of Volsbitch.com]


The “Average” Florida Gator  football fan, on any given Saturday, may tailgate on campus, grill up some hot dogs, and drink a few Natural Lights as they celebrate “the birthday of Florida football in 1991″.

Similarly, your “Above Average” Bull Gator fan will spend thousands of dollars for their Grand Gator season tickets in the upper deck, scarf down no less than 3 delectable “Easy Crab Spread sandwiches”, while chasing it with swallows of Jack Daniels from a plastic flask.

Today, however, we want to provide a glimpse of how some fans really set themselves apart in a sea of orange & blue.

An exciting new trend is surfacing in the way fans advertise their support Florida Gator Football. It isn’t a trend that involves elaborate Game Day plans, large scholarship donations, or face time with Gator Legends like Tony Joiner, or Channing “Chainsaw” Crowder. No, this exciting new way to show your love of all things Florida involves the intersection of Gator football and a solemn religious ceremony. Check out this lovely bride and handsome groom became a couple married in what appears to be some sort of bait store.

Un-confirmed reports of the ceremony:

To accent the dress, the father of the bride appropriately sported a Bass Pro baseball cap, reminiscent of the holiest of fisherman, Bill Dance, during the holiest of occasions. To add to the authenticity, the bride’s father made sure to drink a bottle of George Dickel immediately prior to the ceremony.

The groom also paid homage to Florida’s fine coaching tradition. Out of respect for Coach Will Muschamp, the groom appeared to have pit stains on his shirt and cursed throughout the service.

Following a reception next to a new state of the art Reel Fishing: Angler’s Dream [Wii Game], the couple left underneath a flurry of gator chomps with the gloriously horny roar of  Bull Gator blaring from the loudspeakers, completing this romantic moment.

The Gator  Nation is certainly encouraged by these beautiful acts of combining sacred religious rites with Florida football tradition. Such acts will surely contribute to Coach Muschamps’s ability energize his loyal fan base, boom motherfucker.

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About Capers Bar

I am retired Army officer. I used to fly helicopters and airplanes while I was in the Army. Nowadays, I do other things that are not so cool and sexy. I decided to write about my journey or whatever you want to call it towards running a half-marathon this fall. I have been running since 1983, I have run the Duke City full and half marathons. I don't run that fast anymore, I did win a 10K when I was 21, those days are mercifully past me. The fastest mile I have turned is a 5:05 during one of those Army physical fitness test 2 mile runs. The point I am making is that I am old, slow, and experienced runner. I named the blog after my running buddy, Bandit, an Australian Blue Heeler. He is my 3rd K-9 running buddy, the previous two dogs were black labs. I hope to write about some of my discussions that I have with Bandit in the future. I once owned, but since sold and a satirical and irreverent sports blog that was moderately successful. I was published in the left-wing national sports media by Sports Illustrated and ESPN. I am "stuck" in Alabama working for a military contractor. I am working so fricking hard to get back to Southeast New Mexico or West Texas. Fingers and toes crossed.

8 comments on “A Florida Gator Wedding

  1. I actually thought this was fake until I saw the boy in the background wearing JORTS.

  2. Jorts was way easy. I chose to avoid easy.

  3. And acid-washed no doubt.

    Go Gata.

  4. jealous much?

  5. “what appears to be some sort of bait store.” Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha haaaah!!!

    That’s a funny story! You did a great job Jai, but, in all seriousness, I wish them both a lifetime of happiness together.

  6. not sure about the “stop” sign in the back ground. what does that imply??

  7. […] The most Florida Gators wedding ever. [LWS] […]

  8. […] Now this is a Gaytor Wedding.*(Losers with Socks) […]

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