Todd Graham’s Inferno

TULSA, Okla. — Tulsa has filed a formal complaint with Conference USA over the Rice marching band’s performance of “Todd Graham’s Inferno” during halftime of Saturday’s football game in Houston.

Graham left Rice for Tulsa after just one season. His Golden Hurricane defeated Rice 48-43 to win the C-USA West Division title. [link]

Bammers? I’m not sure that you may have recognized the “Inferno” reference. Did that blow your minds?

What’s wrong with a parody of a man who signs his name to a contract and then bolts town for more money? Do you suppose your bank would allow you to disregard a contract to buy a car because you found something better one year later?

Tulsa needs to get thicker skin. Where can Rice file a complaint about Graham bailing on a legal contract? Are Tulsa fans are stupid enough really to care about Todd Graham being called a “douchebag”?

I think most people see through this ruse! Everybody knows the University of Tulsa is the Harvard of NE Oklahoma

Here is the script:

Tulsa vs. Rice
November 24, 2007
“Todd Graham’s Inferno”
Introduction

Announcer:
The MOB decided it was high time to give Todd Graham a piece of our mind. We searched high and low, asking “Where the hell is Todd Graham?” Lucky for us, we found Dante, wandering in a dark wood, who told us we should be asking: “Where in Hell is Todd Graham?”
2nd Circle: Your Mom
Announcer:
We knew he wasn’t in Limbo (since he had no spine), so we started our search in the second circle of Hell. We didn’t find Todd Graham among the adulterers, but your mom suggested we go lower.

4th Circle: Franchione in Hell
Announcer:
We thought we might find Todd Graham in the fourth circle with the greedy and the avaricious, but he was nowhere to be found. However, we did find his shredded Rice contract – leading like breadcrumbs into the inferno – and there, gathering the pieces, was Dennis Franchione.
8th Circle: A River (of poo) Runs Through It
Announcer:
Since he had made all those pretty speeches about how much he loved Rice and would never, ever leave, we were sure to find Todd Graham with the flatterers in the eighth circle, wallowing in donkey dung. But the damned said they’d had enough of his B.S.
Tulsa: Damnation
Announcer:
And lo, The MOB descended to the ninth circle of Hell – home of traitors and the Prince of Lies. Yet, of Todd Graham, there still was no sign. Cautiously, we approached Satan to inquire.

Demon:
Todd Graham?! That oaf knows better than to hope for the sweet release of my ninth circle.

Announcer:
We thought him scum, to be sure, but did he deserve an eternity beyond Hell’s greatest depths?

Demon:
If you wish to see his fate… come.

Announcer:
A twisted path led down to a door, blackened by flame, inscribed with three frightful words: Welcome. To. Tulsa.
Closing
Announcer:
You know, that reminds me of a joke: A priest, a nun, and a rabbi walk into a bar. Now, I forgot how the rest of it went, but I think in the end Todd Graham is a douchebag.

Ladies and gentlemen, the two-thousand seven Marching Owl Band. Please send all complaints to: your mom at mob dot rice dot E-D-U.
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