In preparation for the pending college football season (100 days away), here is some sage and timely advice on surviving a college football message board ass whipping or “e-combat”.
You got your ass viciously beaten by some trolling thug on the Internet.
The most important thing to remember is this: it’s not your fault. No one deserves to get an Internet ass-beating, no matter how stupid their argument was.
Here is how we survive brutal e-bitch slaps on college football message boards:
- Identify who the “cool” posters are.
- Identify the people they hate
- Identify the one person whose actions are more blatantly stupid and more unforgivable than anyone else, according to the posters in step #1.
- Make the same joke everyone’s been making for nearly ten years.
- Grow some balls or buy them on eBay.
- You are now cool.