92,000 Better Ways To Spend Your Time

After reading about 92,000 attendees at the Alabama Spring scrimmage, I decided to offer the good people of that state some ideas for spending their time in a more productive manner.


1) Develop a new use for the grit.

2) Build a wall on the Mississippi border.

3) Demolish wall Georgia built to keep you out.

4) Try to bring the Bear back to life. Cloning is a very real possibility. Fulmer would own him.

5) Find a replacement slogan for “The Tide Don’t Lose in Baton Rouge” since the phrase is obviously outdated.

6) Work with legislators to craft stiffer laws to deal with drunken women on horseback.

7) Turn your attention to the real enemy, Tommy Tubberville. How can you hope to bring Fulmer down when you aren’t even the best program in your own state?

8) Erect a “My Cousin Vinny” statue outside of the state capital to replace the Ten Commandments.

9) Feel good about bypassing on Sylvester Croom. He sucks and it is the one good thing you have done over the past decade. You should have a special day to commemorate.

10) Build a monument to the unknown hero who pushed Logan Young.

16 comments on “92,000 Better Ways To Spend Your Time

  1. Bama’s Back!!! Rowe Tihd Rowe!

  2. I seriously take offense to the Croom comment. He’s coaching at my alma mater and if anyone would do his or her homework, the person would instantly realize that Mississippi State has averaged 4.1 wins in the history of the program. Croom has just now regained the full compliment of scholarships lost by Sherrill (75-75-2, in case you don’t know the record of the winniest coach in their history). Coupled with the fact that Starkville doesn’t even have a car dealership, coaching and winning are impossible at the D-1 level in the Patch. MSU sucks now, they sucked then, and they will always suck at football, the coach is irrelevant. Don’t blame Croom. Just saying.

  3. excuses are for losers. croom sucks. he lost to the Black Bears of Division II Maine

  4. The Black Bears rule!!! At least that’s what Stephen King says…

  5. Orono, Maine has four car dealerships, foo’. Croom doesn’t suck.

  6. Croom did own Alabama last year. At least MSU didn’t hire THE Ogeron.

  7. Ole Miss fans will tell you that Ogeron turned MSU down. Those are the same retards that ran David Cutcliffe off.

  8. And Tubberville, and Van Chancellor, and Peyton Manning, and good Lord, the list doesn’t end, but still better than State.

  9. No offense but Ole Miss sucks. And they are better than MSU. That sounded mean but I didnt mean it that way.

  10. At least State hired a cheater that won. Ole Miss is currently a walking NCAA sanction filled smackdown waiting to happen and they aren’t winning. Next season won’t be any better for the mascot-less university.

    But The Ogeron won the Egg Bowl. That and the co-eds in the Grove are the only things that matter in Oxford. You stay classy Ole Miss.

  11. Can Croom castrate a bull?

    Cut it

  12. I counted that list twice and both times only came up with 10.

  13. Yeah, Croom sucks. I agree with you.

    We want him gone from MSU, but it’s not like we have coaches just lining up to take this job. Further, we don’t have the money to throw at the feet of Nick Saban.

    So Croom sucks. Orgeron sucks. Alabama is a has-been.

    Bring us some news we aren’t aware of already.

  14. Shane, haven’t you heard of Alabama math? You know, the same type of math that gives Bama “12” titles when there are obviously less. Less is more, you know.

  15. here is the We Got 12 math


  16. Saw one of of my boys this weekend that is a diehard Bammer fan. “92,000. Saban is already breaking records. The SEC is fearing Bama.”

    My response, “92,000 to watch a practice, why should anyone be in fear? Saban is probably thinking that there are 92,000 people that will be calling for his head within 2 years if he doesn’t beat that school down the road, and I’m not talking about J-ville State or UAB.”

    My Bammer friend, “Well we are paying him a lot of money. He’s gotta beat the Barn.”

    “That’s a lot of money to pay for one coach, who hasn’t signed a contract, to accomplish one thing especially considering when that coach has a losing record against the AG school in Alabama. Does Saban now make more than the rest of his players combined?”

    (after a long pause) “Fuck you.”

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