Vanderbilt: 2007 NCAA Champs in…women’s bowling?

Suck on this, America!

Dear America:

You’ve laughed at us, picked on us, told us we didn’t belong in the SEC, made fun of our athletic department structure, but now we say this to you, skeptics of the U.S. of A.:

Suck our collective girl-balls.

That’s right, the Vandy ladies’ bowling team is bringing Vandy’s first national non-academic championship trophy home to Nashville’s West End. And hey, it looks a lot like all seven of the Lady Vols’ hoops trophies.

Frankly, if it were me, I’d be friggin’ pissed if my national championship trophy looked just like everyone else’s trophy. Of course, if I were Vandy, I’d be running down Demonbreun naked and abusing myself in the eyes of the Lord if I’d won anything above and beyond a certificate of participation.

“Right now I can’t put this championship into proper perspective,” said an elated Coach John “Hey Pat Summit, I’m only six national titles behind you, biyatch” Williamson. “To win the first national team championship in school history is special. Our student-athletes worked so hard, our coaches worked hard and this victory on national television is validation that the effort was worthwhile.”

Nice safe, lame-o press statement, Coach.

In case you were wondering, VU beat Maryland Eastern Shore to win the title, potentially firing off the first salvo in a Pat Head-Geno Auriemma-esque feud between the two schools.


If we get a link to any t-shirts or caps or any other sorta merchandise, we’ll be sure to pass it along.

10 comments on “Vanderbilt: 2007 NCAA Champs in…women’s bowling?

  1. This is deadspin quality

  2. I bet they have no trouble picking up the split

  3. Good one IJ.

    Well, now I can no longer say that the only reason Vandy is in the SEC is to boost the collective GPA of the conference’s student athletes.

  4. They are punching bags for our players

  5. Jaxbo you are correct as always. Vandy students are pussies

  6. T-minus 11 hours before EDSBS steals the storyline.

  7. Happens everyday, story theft. I remember when you guys one-upped that fucking windbag Swindle on the Houston Nutt cell phone stuff. He bitched at Deadspin for days over that.

    I am gator, and I hate that guy too

  8. […] department structure, but now we say this to you, skeptics of the US of A.: Suck our collective girl-balls. That s right, the Vandy ladies bowling team is bringing Vandy s first national championship trophy home to Nashville s [. … …Sportzia More […]

  9. […] whose sole purpose of being in the SEC is to raise the collective GPA of the student-athletes and to win Women’s Bowling National Titles.  What scares me of UGA is their capability of waking up in the middle of the season and upsetting […]

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