1. Tebow: Big question: injuries. Suffered two last year, and injuries bring on more injuries IMO. Don’t know how much you fear him if he becomes a pocket QB, which won’t happen. . Not under the Herban offensive system. Uncircumcised men fear him. Penis.

2. Stafford: Terrible as a freshman, except for 2 games, mediocre as a sophomore. Lots of hype for a guy who hasn’t proven much. Plenty of talent, but he is only here by default. To date, his career numbers are–

54.2 Completion Percentage
26 Passing TDs
23 INTs

Last season he was 55.2% completion, 19 passing TDs, 10 INTs. He is showing improvement, but those aren’t exactly amazing numbers. He averaged 194 yards passing last year. Fat Matt will soon reach “Critical Ass”, the stage in fat accumulation when his “silver britches” can no longer contain the enormity of his humongous buttocks that will continue to limit his offensive production.

After that, there are some unproven guys that have shown some talent in limited action and others that have started last year and haven’t proven to be very good.

3. Perriloux- People can say they’re not buying the hype but he played well in his only two starts this year and was solid in spot time throughout the year. We return a lot on offense and I suspect good things from RP. He’s a passer first and we will see that next year. LSU has an achilles heel besides Les Miles’ intellect, it is the QB!!

4. Crompton- I went back and forth between him and Snead but based on the game experience I’ve watched of Crompton, he should be a very good quarterback this year. I wonder how the loss of Cut will affect the offense though. They weren’t the same when he wasn’t there and he did great when he came back. We will see.

5. Snead- I think Snead has more talent than Crompton but hasn’t had much game experience at all and will need some snaps early in the year to get his game together. But I suspect he will be the second best quarterback in the West behind RP. Very good talent and I think OM will be the surprise of the Western Division.

6. Sarah Jessica John Parker Wilson- This guy could be anywhere from 5th to 12th in the league and I have no clue what we will get next year. The Colorado game is a perfect example of what you can get when he is playing well and what you can get when he isn’t. The playcalling was poor last year as well and I wonder how the OC situation at Bama shakes out. Bammers love him cause he has three names. Just like Joe Willie Namath. Plus he drinks just like Joe WIllie too!!

7. Kodi Burns- Rating him 7th isn’t a sign of how good or bad I think Auburn will be. I think Tubby remains the best coach in the conference and has shown he can win with anyone at quarterback. They will win with defense and a good home schedule. But Burns hasn’t shown he can throw at all and some even speculate if he will be the starter come next season. They might be able to beat some teams but until this guy shows us he can pass consistently, he might cost AU some games.

8. Smelley- someone has to be 8th and none of the others are promising for this spot.

9. Dick- this guy is terrible. Nobody will be with him to bail him out either and we’ll see how Petrino handles the SEC. This isn’t the Big East where you can coast by each week with mediocre play. He was given a tough gig in Atlanta and jumped ship right before the place imploded. He ran with his tail between his legs, will he run from the SEC?

10-12…Does it really matter?

Before my beloved Vols’ had their windsocks tattered. I had hopes of this being a game……alas, it was not to be

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A captured Bammeroid, with the NCAA Rule Book. Check the Houndstooth headdress

I don’t understand. It seems to me that the Bammeroids would want this dark period of Cheating [Link] to just go away. Now they have attacked our Battle Captain again [T-Town Rag] at the SEC Media Days. And it just keeps coming back. Read the subpoena [fulmersubpoena]

Once again showing the college football world that they are the most delusional and dicked up fanbase ever. Or is it that this is part of a bigger Paternity lawsuit involving Auburn and LSU to determine who is Bama’s Daddy

Lord Nick Saban just wrapped up his press conference at the always entertaining SEC Media Days by announcing that the Alabama Crimson Tide will not be sporting their traditional crimson jerseys when the Auburn Tigers visit the Capstone on November 29th.

“I feel a change needed to be made to give a more accurate representation of who we are. Just look at our fans, they fucking go insane for houndstooth. They deserve for us to reflect the same taste in style that they choose on Saturdays at football games, every December in Shreveport, and every day when standing in lines at the methadone clinics,” Saban said.

“Lets be honest. Those goat fuckers from East Alabama have handed our ass to us the last 6 years. Obviously the crimson and white isn’t cutting it. We need a reminder of Bama’s epitome to encourage and motivate our players and fans out there on the field against the turd knockers. I expect Bryant-Denny-Tuberville Stadium to be rocking come November 29th. I have be talking to Mal about the possibility of a ‘Houndstooth-out’ for that critical game” said Saban.

In another subtle change, the Nike Swoosh logo has been replaced by the MasterCard logo. “Since Brother Logan went to be with Bear, it has been his Red Elephant Club brethren donating to the recruiting fund via MasterCard that has been the biggest contributor to our success. Without MasterCard, we wouldn’t have been able to win the coveted recruiting national championship. We must pay homage to their services. When we actually do something relevant on the field wearing Nike, we may add the swoosh back. But for now, it is all MasterCard. Nike still has the cleats. No way in hell we were going to emulate the Barn and wear the click-clack.

“The SEC logo had to go too. ALABAMA BUILT THIS FUCKING CONFERENCE. Every other SEC school should be wearing a script A on their jerseys instead of the SEC logo. Its really just a matter of time until it happens,” said Saban.

Class and tradition, RTR

Even though he was not originally scheduled to appear at SEC Media Days, Sarah Jessica John Parker Wilson made the short drive from Hoover High School, where he was macking on 17 year olds, to debut the jersey to the public. He is from Hoover, so you KNOW he’s a star. There wouldn’t have been that show on MTV if that wasn’t the case. Parker had to wear a matching houndstooth hat to contain his Bama Bangs from covering parts of the new jersey.

“We expect sales to be off the charts on this elegant piece of fashion, possibly even enough for the university to completely replenish the player’s legal fund,” Saban concluded. The jersey will be sold at the price of $59.95 (or one month’s wage for the average Alabama alumnus) and will begin arriving at Bama Fevers across the state by the middle of August.

After hearing the news, Bear Bryant released this statement from the grave, “I did not wear houndstooth, it was plaid. In less than 25 years you have warped my plaid into houndstooth because why? It is more trendy? I ought to come back and kick all your asses. And Saban, you will never even accomplish what my taint did at that university. I wore fucking plaid, just ask Wimp Sanderson.”

Bammeroids are not the only fanbase that likes to dwell in the past.  Check out the nailbiter game versus the cheaters

Yep Yep - The most shockingly racist live TV moments.
Cuzoogle - For those who have a gambling problem
My Chill Pill - Bikini time with Sophia Monk.
Busted Coverage - Working at the bikini car wash.
On 205th - Danielle Lloyd is modest and topless.
Tasty Booze - Keg stand face-plant.
Epic Carnival - Brett Favre is pissing me off.
Bright Black Internet - Is Cristiano Ronaldo gay? I have always assumed so.
Brahsome - Time waster of the day.
Hottest Girls of Myspace - It would be a travesty if this girl does not become famous.
Don Chavez - Road Island man scores a record on the breathalyzer.
Banned in Hollywood - Sausage links for Traci Bingham.
Derober - Kim Kardashian wants us to know she is working out.
Flatusyahu - We have become a nation of soccer pervs.
NextRound.net - College QBs that would of said yes to Playboy.
Blog of Hilarity - Heather Locklear is cured.
Mac Gs World - Nothing but net for Barry O.
Boosh Magazine - 30 reasons why you suck.
Uncoached - The best rock bands since 93/94
NE Patriots Draft - 8 things Brett Favre should be doing.
Tailgating Ideas - Exclusive interview with Playboy Playmate Laura Croft.

This video should have been classified as homo-erotica. Brent Musburger should have been fined by the FCC for the on-air fellating of 890 Kid. I really felt uncomfortable watching Brent’s unbridled passion…like a voyeur looking through a keyhole….

Thanks YMSWWC. I must say wow, just fucking WOW, what a big surprise [TBO]. Penis. You got appreciate a man that issticking to his morals. I try to find ways to dislike him and I don’t have a lot of trouble finding new ways. Penis. Is he is using morals as an excuse to avoid prime Playboy tuna? If morals is the issue, he should have gone to a different school and most definitely played for a different coach. Penis. 890

1. For some inexplicable reason, Phillip Fulmer invites Urban Meyer, Mark Richt, Steve Spurrier, Nick Saban, Les Miles, and Tommy Tuberville over to his palatial estate for a dinner party. At 2:00 a.m. the next morning, The Papa discovers that Smokey IX has been murdered. Who did it, with what, and where? Think Clue. You know, Mr. Mustard in the parlor with the candlestick?

None of the coaches listed above did it. Chris Fowler planned the kill working in cahoots with his maternal grandmother-looking paramour Lou Holtz. I further believe that Fowler’s man-servant, Charles Woodson introduced a sap to Smokey’s temple all the while screaming with each blow to Smokey’s cranium: I AM THE KING OF THE TENNESSEE TRAILER PARKS. DANCE FOR ME AND MY HEISMAN, LIVE AND YOU SHALL TASTE AMBROSIA UPON YOUR HONEYED LIPS! DIE AND BE REMEMBERED A HERO!

2. Who between Eric Berry for the defense and Gerald Jones for the Clawfense will have the biggest impact for the Vols in 2008?

I have no idea what to expect this season, but I damn well better like it. Somebody better open up that playbook, start calling some Herban Meyer-like plays. Really what I am hoping for is a “wow” season on both sides of the ball. The big question is will Tennessee “wow” its fans. As in, “Wow, does offense suck” or “Wow, WTF happened to this all world secondary?” “Wow my season tickets sure are pricey” Oxygen is cool. What would be cooler than oxygen is beating Auburn, Georgia, Alabama and Florida. Even cooler would be that each of them would be ranked #2 in the nation before we beat that ass.

3. You devise a way to harness the Lost island’s temporal displacement properties. The island will allow you to change one thing, but one thing only, in the history of the Tennessee Volunteer football program. What do you change? By the way, Ben warns that if you try to say “2005″ or any other entire season, the mysterious clicking black smoke will sound its wailing siren, shoot from the earth, grab you by the ankles, and pound you to a pulp against a palm tree. So change only one thing. Unless, of course, you like that sort of thing.

I think of anything, it would be to much success in beating ass. Many of the fans do not remember the Bill Battle era and the early seasons of Johnny Majors. The losses to Rutgers, North Texas, the bad streak versus the Cheaters. In one word, Tennessee fans are SPOILED.

i have been a huge Tennessee fan my entire life and am proud to be an alumni of the University. These days I live in Lower Alabama and I always hear remarks of how stupid people are from Tennessee. I have even been told that my degree from Tennessee is no better than a high school degree in the state of Alabama. Maybe the good people of Tennessee are not as modern and are not as intellectually driven like people in the Alabama cities of Bridgeport, Mulga, Cullman, Opp or Jack, but Tennessee football is our form of intellectual expression. Tennessee football used to be a source of pride for people from Tennessee. It used to say to the rest of the nation that we know ya’ll all think we’re stupid and ignorant, but here’s a taste of our football team. Here’s a dose of the Orange and White that full of heart, toughness, pixie dust, a bag of magic beans and guts and is always able to hit you in the mouth and will do whatever it takes to win. Then people from Tennessee can say maybe were not as intellectual, but we know how to beat ass. it saddens me that we could lose that when the Battle Captain moves on.

4. What about the future? What is your worst fear for this upcoming season, the turn of events that would send you into a blind rage?

Another loss to Bama. Those cheaters are back in business of buying whatever their blackened shrunken pieces of gristle that they call hearts, desire. When the whores, money and blow is flowing freely in the T-Town Ghetto like buttermilk douches, nobody NOBODY can stop the Houndstooth Philistines. Mark my words, it is only a matter of time till those cheaters buy another National Championship right before they start their next probation.

Rest assured that if Coach Saban wants a recruit, no amount of money can stand in his way. Saban will assimilate the ignorant, into an ignorant world where only Alabama and their fanbase reigns supreme. As an example, does anyone remember the couple that got married at Bryant Denny a couple of years ago? I can tell you right now, that couple that got married will never get divorced. They obviously were raised right and have their priorities straight. How does any school stand a chance against that?

My backup fear is that UGA is not soft like the FleshLight that we all know that they are.  Dawg fans procreate  in cyberspace like rabbits when they are successful on the field.  Couple that with the fact they have an inferiority complex with their Daddy to the north and their Step Daddy to the south, and you have the makings of a “Rooster Challenged” fanbase that is loud and proud.

Here the others….

• Southeastern Sports Blog
• 3rd Saturday in Blogtober
• Rocky Top Talk
• The World According to Moondog
• Fulmer’s Belly
• Gate 21
• The Power T

The Big Orange Roundtable

• Southeastern Sports Blog
• 3rd Saturday in Blogtober
• Rocky Top Talk
• The World According to Moondog
• Fulmer’s Belly
• Gate 21
• The Power T

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